The powers that be may be telling you that summer is over, but the powers that be are lying. Ads for fall fashion and Halloween aisles in August are just proof that late capitalism is clamoring for your attention. Live in the present and get out.
So let’s go to the beach. According to the calendar, there are 37 days of summer left, more than a third of the entire season. Not only is summer not over until the fall equinox says it’s over (September 22), but September and October are the unsung heroes of beach season. Especially in California.
The pesky tourists are gone. The marine layer has burned. Let’s fucking go.
But not all cannabis products lend themselves to an enjoyable day at the beach. Edibles can melt from the heat, hash evaporates in the sun, and rolling joints in the wind sucks. While being stoned at the beach is great, obtain high can be harder than it looks.
Here’s a list of beach-ready weed products to keep you rocking on the playa until it’s too cold to do so.
Hoppy Chill Hi-Fi Sessions by Lagunitas
Hi-Fi Hops by Lagunitas are IPAs that contain weed instead of alcohol. They’re happy, they’re hopped, they’re a game-changer! All of their offerings taste like drinking a beer and get you bubbly high – it’s much more similar to a carbonated variety than the alcoholic variety.
While Hi-Fi has a ton of different flavors to choose from, I like the Hoppy Chill from their new Sessions line based on the THC:CBD ratio. With 5mg of THC and 5mg of CBD per can, they are balanced, relaxing and social. But still strong enough to splash you in the waves.
At the end of the line : Ideal for partying at the beach without a hangover.
Buy it here: $17 for the pack of 4
Hogwash Pharms Beach Crasher
Beach Crasher is an award-winning cultivar of Hogwash Pharms that makes you feel like weed is supposed to make you feel: light, happy and really, really high. Cultivated in the hills of Humboldt by multi-generational master growers, her buds are green and orange, dense and crystalline. The smell is tangy tropical fruit, with a sour and spicy finish. The flavor is earthy lemon pepper.
Rich in caryophyllene, limonene, and myrcene terpenes, this is a strain that leaves you cruising at a higher altitude than usual. He comes with a tall head, red eyes and a big smile. This flower is powerful and heavy, but in a whimsical way that doesn’t lock you down. It kind of mimics the feeling of being at the beach – psychically euphoric and floating like water, with a mental serenity. Ideal for getting high in the sand, feeling the sun on your skin and watching the waves crash.
At the end of the line : It’s all in the name.
Buy it here: $25
Octo-taster by GRAV
SEVERE is a brand of glass that has been around forever and makes smoking-friendly pieces. While the new wave of arty bongs and pipes are cute, they don’t always hold up when it comes to taking a solid hit. GRAV parts are for smokers, by smokers and I appreciate that.
The Octo-taster, basically a batter-shaped pipe with a rubber sleeve on it, is my basic summer adventure buddy. It is discreet, unbreakable and designed to be stored and taken.
What makes this rubber-coated batter so effective at the beach is that you can hold the rubber mouthpiece between your teeth, fire with one hand, and shield from the wind with the other. While hitting a normal pipe at the beach might require a towel shield and often another human to hold it, you can easily use this pipe at the beach on your own.
At the end of the line : This life-proof little pipe is perfect for exhaling worries in the sea breeze.
Buy it here: $14
El Bluntito Rosas by El Blunto
The El Bluntito Rosas of El Blunto are some of my favorite cannabis products of 2022. Each of these little joints is meticulously rolled in organic rose petals and contains 0.5g of high quality Limoncello flower or Bubble Gum.
I only tried the Limoncello, but was completely blown away by the experience. The flower is brimming with lemon flavor, offset by a hint of floral terpedes from the petals. The joints burn perfectly, slowly and evenly, which is often not the case when it comes to pre-rolled with rose petals. El Blunto hand rolls and hardens all of their products. Their attention to detail has made them a favorite in even the most posh corners of the canna world.
While they’re great for special occasions, I’ve found them great for the beach because they burn slower than your average paper-rolled joint and hold up better in the wind. Plus, pretty much the cutest thing you can do at the beach is pull out a bunch of these babies.
At the end of the line : Sophisticated and fun, they’re as good for a wedding gift as they are for a beach picnic.
Buy it here: $45
Small strong drink by Pure Beauty
As for the cannabis drinks from Alice in Wonderland, Pure beauty takes the auspicious cupcake with their Little Strong Drink. This 2.2oz bev contains 100mg of THC, making it the perfect touch of magic to top off a beach cocktail, mocktail, or my favorite bottle of seltzer.
The flavor is classy, a bit like a non-alcoholic red wine with a spicy hint of cardamom. It almost tastes like mulled wine or a holiday drink when concentrated, but stretches out to a slightly tart, spicy grape flavor when added to beverages. In addition to THC, it contains ashwagandha to tone down the high and add an anxiety-free undertone to the hyper THC blast.
At the end of the line : Ideal for adding a touch of magic to your daily beach drink.
Buy it here: $20
Solvent-Free Cranberry Almond Granola from Kaneh Co.
The idea that edibles should be bad for you is outdated and tied to the concept that weed is a vice as opposed to what it really is, a goddamn virtue! Luckily, the market is maturing and we’re starting to see healthy, high-quality edibles hit the shelves, like Kaneh Co.’s Solvent-Free Almond Cranberry Granola.
Kaneh Co is an edibles brand owned by a San Diego woman who has always been ahead of the curve. This granola is a mix of superfoods like chia seeds and hemp seeds with gluten-free oats and coconut oil, among others. Each 100mg pack contains two 50mg bars, with a dosage cutting guide, of course.
At the end of the line : Perfect for maintaining your bikini body (and your bikini state of mind!) while munching in the sand.
Buy it here: $20
Live Caramel Apple Solvent Free Rosin Vaporizer by Golden State
Although I am not a vaper myself, I certainly see their merit for new and casual users. The vapes are simple to use and provide a smooth experience that is hard to overdo. They’re also perfect for the beach, as they’re ready to strike anytime, no matter the circumstances around them.
If you are a cannabis user of the vaper variety, golden statethe new line of Solvent-Free Live Rosin Vaporizers is a fantastic choice in a genre of product riddled with misfires. There are a few strains available. I tried the Caramel Apple, which was super peppery, earthy and lemony. The high was perfect for melting into the sand, relaxing and buzzing overall.
At the end of the line : Perfect for the new or occasional user looking for a hassle-free, lightly stoned beach experience.
Buy it here: $65
Deli Greens Wedding Cake by Caliva
Although I rarely write about flowers on a budget, I think it’s appropriate here because some beach days, especially holidays, require you to bring a bunch of weed to share with all your friends. This weed could become sandy. It could be wet. You will probably lose track of the bag at some point during the day and never see it again. For days like this, bring Deli Greens.
Cheap and widely available, this wedding cake isn’t the best weed in the world, but it’s great for sharing and not worrying about it. The high is mildly relaxing and good for social settings.
At the end of the line : The weed equivalent of bringing a 12-pack of Coors Light to a beach party.
Buy it here: $15